Wrong focus

My grandmother phone called me just now, and asked how am I doing recently? Am I taken by dinner? How were my braces, still pain? Recently, she called me quite frequent. This makes me a sudden wake up…..

What am I focusing right now? I am focusing on someone that thinks I am not THAT important. While I had forgotten my family members! They love me since I am a baby, and still care me so much until I am this old. I was trying hard to build my LDR but I had forgotten to build the relation with my FAMILIES!! I never try hard to make more chances to meet them as possible as I could, I didn’t text them, I didn’t call them for many weeks. I TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED! But at the same time I am worrying on my LDRBF takes granted for me. This is so ridiculous!

Em, yes, my current ldrbf is important for me to evaluate, because if I didn’t choose well, next time after the porridge is cooked I have no way back, just regret. I had put my energies on ldrbf, because I believe I can control the future I want (before the porridge cooked).

BUT! My families are the cooked porridges! They are the one that I will be regretted if I didn’t put my energies on them more from now!

It was like, why I have to worry about my ldrbf.. Is he the right one? Is he changing? Bla bla bla~~ INSTEAD of worrying on my parents and families’ health. My granny getting old now, my mum always complain that her back pain, legs pain, head pain.  

Who should I prioritise? In “theory”, I will answer the question without doubting, “of course are my families la!” But in the real life, I had put sooo much energy on the people other than my families! Ouuch!

Wrong focus

There are so many relations we need to build. And for sure, we should bias on the people who are deserve the MOST.

Its all about give and take. I just took too much from them, but i didn't gave them as what they gave me euqally.

We went to Pavilion by train together. = )

Foreign Language

When I was in secondary school, I always wanted to learn the western language, like Spanish, French, Germany, Italian, etc. Cus when I learn English last time, to know more new vocabs, I saw and downloaded a list of foreign language vocabs that can be used in English, like Deja Vu (French), means 似曾相识, this kind of words. and I feel its cool. Spanish songs are nice. and of course maybe affected by the western movies. 

I changed my thought, when I met my Japanese friends in NZ. I saw some people from other countries spoke Japanese with the Japanese friends. I was so envy that they could do that! Besides, Japanese foods are nice!! Like Okonomiyaki cooked by my friend. I love the most!! is super duper delicious! I learnt some Korean words that time too. I didn't have very close western friends that time. Well, at last Japanese was the language I wanted to learn the most then. My Jap's friends just inspired me a lot that time!

So, I took Japanese in my University as an elective course. I admit that I didn't put enough efforts to study the language. My result was not so good. But I was impressed by many of my friends that I am a fast learnner in other languages (speak) last time. haha. Hmm, I must spend more time and put more efforts to learn the grammars and writing from now! Language is not a subject that can be studied last minutes!

It's funny that because I wanna improve my Japanese, I started to chase Anime, listen to Japanese songs. Normally people learn the language because of Anime, but I am the other way round. Haha. Well, I am enjoying to do it too. Great chance for me to expose to other stuff that I will never did before.

Its cool to learn foreign languages actually, we can discover a new culture, like musics, movies, foods, art etc. And definitely can feel something... different. 

If I have chance, I will learn more languages, my next target is French btw. or maybe Spanish xD haha

Image from : http://speaklanguagecenter.com/

迷茫。

握不住
看不见
一切只能靠幻想
有时觉得好虚拟
虚拟到我会怀疑
怀疑应不应该继续相信

谁能教我如何达到零期待的境界？
活在只能对你幻想的我，除了期待我还能做什么？
期待之后，却一次又一次的失落。

有时在想，为何要把自己搞得那么犯贱？

其实
最让人难受的，是看不见未来。
迷茫。